'Emin & Emin Cyprus' by Tracey Emin, 1996
This piece by Tracy Emin really inspired me because it portrays loneliness through imagery but the sound portrays the connection she has with her father that now she has lost therefore the tone is very nostalgic. Both the imagery and what it is being said in the short film is quite poetic because it is not literal or direct and I like that. I think it connects to the title of my project: 'when it burns it means it's working'. I am trying to send a message but not in a literal way.
Additionally, as I have also used the sea in one of the experimentations, I felt a strong connection with this work.
Three Colours: Blue - Krzysztof Kieslowski - 1993
By watching the first frame of this film, I was able to understand that colours is a key element when it comes to the editing of the film. Additionally, there was an interesting use of symbolism in the film which was not literal and made me think quite a lot. The film itself depicts a very strong sense of loneliness and sadness. By using a blue tone in the film, the concept is emphasised. The film is also very grey which makes me instantly sad because when the sky is grey I feel a very strong sense of sadness. I think that this film was very intense therefore, I would not want my outcome to depict loneliness in such a devastating heartbreak manner however, I am considering using a hue throughout my film rather than maintaining regular colours.
'One Night' song by Mura Masa & Charli XCX, video directed by Yoni Lappin, 2017
In this music video what got to me was particularly the narrative within visuals of the film and the content itself. I like the intimacy that was expressed and I aim to shot a similar kind of intimacy within my film. Intimacy is in an important component of my project as I believe that if something is perceived as intimate, it has the power to be relatable to other as we all experience intimate situations in our everyday lives.
It is important for me to make artwork that people can relate to because, I want to communicate emotions that everybody goes through using my art.
'I came Here for You' by Tracy Emin
I like the typography of this piece mostly as it is hand written. It reminds me of the sentences that I would write on my personal diary in moments where I would feel sad and lonely due to heartbreak and other reasons therefore I feel attached to this piece.
'Iris Ruggel Geknickt' by Pipilotti Rist, 2014
'Iris Ruggel Geknickt' by Pipilotti Rist, 2014
I was intrigued in this piece due to its originality. I did not really like what was being displayed, in terms of the video, however what mattered to me was to experience the way video can be used in so many innovative and different ways and how that affects the concept of the film.
I will not be displaying my film in such an unconventional way however, I will aim for it to be displayed in a techno club. Despite the reasoning behind the location i want my film to be displayed in, I have never seen an emotional video in a techno club therefore, I like the way that looks in my mind and it feels like something new and exciting.
'Oral Gratification' by Sarah Lucas, 2000
To me this represents the objectification of women. The piece itself is not very relevant to my final outcome however it made me think about the way I was going to film. As it made me think about objefifciation of the woman's body, which is something that I perceive negatively, I wanted to stay away from that. I started to perceive the woman's body as an object and it made me feel sad therefore, to me it is important to stay away from that as much as possible.
'A Fragile Beauty' by Gunther Forg
I like these images because they capture very ordinary moments (going down the stairs, getting out of a car, sitting on the toilet, getting out of a shower) in a very intimate way and that makes me imagine the narrative behind them. I also like the effect of the images which is quite vintage, grained and sharpened. I like that there are figure of women in simplistic but beautiful clothing. The actions that are captured make me feel a sense of comfort and they make me feel feminine and I like that because it makes me feel empowered. I do not think that being feminine is more powerful than being masculine or gender neutral or queer but I like to feel feminine because in certain ways it gives me a confidence that I would not have if I were to look masculine. However, I am very into gender neutrality.
I like the shots that the artist took, the face of the women never shows. This is the aesthetic I would like to achieve in my film.
'Aishiteru I love you' by Jamie Robinson
I found the composition of these images very interesting to look at. When you look at them it's quite hard to understand what they are but at a second glance you focus more on the way they make you feel. I find them intimate but also disturbing in a way. I like the effects they have because they look like they are screenshots from very old films and this draws my attention because that is what I want my final outcome to look like. I will respond to these images using film and a very sharpened and grainy effect to recreate the aesthetic of these images.
Additionally, from the film experiments I have done so far, the screenshots I took are quite powerful images therefore I am considering the idea of creating a booklet, similar to this one, with them.
'I love you, Stupid!' by Dash Snow - library primary research
This page with the two polaroid images by Dash Snow struck out the most to me out of all of them, although I really liked almost all of them, because they had a very strong message to me. The way I perceived it is that, the whole book was a love story between the artist and a woman, who than made a baby together and through the pictures, you can tell how the artist is before and after he meets the woman and while they are together and once they are separated. The images have a very similar composition but the context is totally different which creates a contrast. The image above shows the man as he is by himself, he lost his lover and it seems that he has lost himself. The image under shows his lover laying in a bed of roses (literally) and by the look on her face she is very happy. To me when a straight man is in a relationship with a straight woman, giving her flowers is an act of showing her his love and appreciation for her.
These images also made me quite emotional because I feel that they relate to me personally and what I am going through. When you are in love, everything is magical and you share so much with a person and once they are gone, you are left with nothing but the memory of them which causes an extreme sense of loneliness. It leaves you thinking that you miss them and want them even though that may not be the case; maybe you just feel lonely because of the memories but you know that it cannot work out anymore.
In terms of concept I'd like to express this in my outcome. In terms of visuals, I really enjoy the layout that is simplistic and the imagery that makes me relate and creates a bitter sweet narrative. I'd like to be able to create similar imagery but using moving image.
'Want me' by Puma Blue lyrics (edited by me)
After being inspired by certain songs for the start of my project, this song came up to my mind and it had a huge impact on me. I feel a strong connection to this song because it truly speaks about the experience I am going through and exactly the way that I feel. I edited the colour of the eyes in order for it to become even more personal, to match the colour of the eyes of the person I have broken up with.
'The Less I know the Better' directed by Canada
Primary Research - experimenting with moving image
Untitled (39) by Magnus Plessen 2017 - White Cube gallery
This piece made me remember the intimacy that I shared with the person I love that I am no longer with and it was very sad to think about it but also beautiful. I think this is represented in this piece through the use of black and white but also colours. There is a beautiful side to pain but when the pain is very recent, it is impossible to see that therefore, I found it is important to turn to art in order to see it clearer.
Nikes by Frank Ocean directed by Tyrone Lebon
Respone to 'Nikes' by Frank Ocean
'Paris, Texas' title sequence
I have watched a preview of the film and apart from the narrative and cinematography I also really liked the way the title sequence was presented. I like the red background for the white text and the effect of the visual; it is sort of faded and noisy and that reminds me of the aesthetic of my film. I will not include a title sequence in my film however, as I am planning to use white subtitle text, I thought this was a good reference.
'Why I never became a dancer' by Tracy Emin, 1995
'Why I never became a dancer' by Tracy Emin, 1995
In terms of what Tracy Emin is saying in this video, I would like to be able to express myself in a similar way . She talks in a very personal way and goes in details and she comes through as a very liberated and emotional person to me when she speaks about her sort of traumatic experience. I like the effect she uses on the videos; they appear to be vintage, filmed with an old camera. I like that because it makes me feel comfort. Additionally, it has an organic approach and I like that because I am an organic person myself and prefer organic things rather than highly technological ones. For my final outcome, I will definitely try to achieve a similar aesthetic that the one of this video.
Blue is the Warmest Colour by Abdellatif Kechiche, 2013 (photographs of the screen by me)
Watching this movie, I kept on pausing it to take pictures of some of the shots. Despite the story line of this film that I really enjoyed, I thought the visuals were amazing. It was a really intimate movie therefore, there was an intimate feel when you looked at the protagonist, there were really close ups of her, really expressive. The story line was about a lesbian girl in her twenties losing experiencing love for the first time and than losing it due to the experiences in a relationship. To me this topic is something that I could watch movies and hear stories and watch artworks about everyday because it is something I can relate to and this feeling makes me feel like I am not alone and that it is okay to be emotionally attached to someone and have strong emotions because many times, due to the sad reality of how romance is viewed in society, we are made to believe that we should feel less and that we are “too” emotional, but than you watch films like this one and realise it is okay and you can make great art out of it. I really appreciate this type of visuals I find it so enjoyable to watch movies when they have this artistic approach in visuals to them. I would like to start working on my moving image skills more. I always take videos of certain situations and I often do close ups as well but I have never put a story line together and I want to work on that because, I think I’d have the potential to create something quite personal that certain individuals could relate to.
'My Bed' by Tracy Emin, 1998
I found this piece by Tracy Emin to be very inspirational. I do not particularly like the bed itself but i think that the idea of placing a bed to represent an individual's emotional state is a very intriguing thing to do. I felt I could relate a lot to this piece as it represents a breakdown of a person due to a relationship breakdown. The bed is an important element in my project as to me, a bed is the most intimate place you share with a partner and also the place where you feel the most lonely and the most pain because you can feel the silence and missing of the person you lost. For this reason, I decided to make the bed one of the locations to shoot the film. I want to portray the way that I perceive beds as a lonely soul and I hope that the young audience can relate.
'Neon Forms (after Noh X)' by Cerith Wyn Evans, 2018
I really like the way these many neons are put together as one. It looks messy but it is clear that it has purpose. I see this piece as the consequence action of a mental breakdown because of the messiness and chaotic order of it. Usually a mental breakdown creates chaos in your mind and that reflects in what you do and your environment. When I have a breakdown I tend to try to do a lot of things all together such as; drawing, cleaning the room, cooking, putting make up on, trying new outfits on etc, and it all ends up as a big mess physically and inside my mind, causing me to just lay on my bed and feeling confused and clueless. I chose this piece also because, similarly to 'hot spot' I think it would be a good location to shoot however, I won't be shooting there because if I shoot more than one neon light I won't be able to communicate my message the way I want it to come through.
screenshots from 'Adventureland' directed by Greg Mottola, 2009
Recently, I have been very into the 'old school' / 'vintage' visual aesthetic therefore, while i was watching this film, this scene was important for me to capture.
I know that my film will not appear into this aesthetic however, it is a very big inspiration for me because it feels more intimate. This is because of the warmth of the colours, the design of interiors reminds me of my granddad's home therefore, it makes me feel comfortable.
'Untitled (5 Nudes)' by John Stezaker (b. 1949, Worcester, UK)
This artwork to me represents the strength and purity of women alone and when they stand together. I really look up to artist who showcase nudity in their artwork because they are able to express a certain kind of purity and tenderness. I wish to showcase tenderness in my film but I will not be using nudity because I feel that it should not be the focus of the video.
Nan and Brian in bed, NYC, 1983 by Nan Golding The Ballad of Sexual Dependency, 1978-86 by Nan Golding
In previous years, I had discovered Nan Golding’s photography and I remember printing some of her photographs and putting them on the walls of my room which was filled with images. I recently came across her works again along with a great reflection of the artists life and her works. Her photography to me is so special because it obviously represents a time that can no longer be lived, she took some amazing photographs of previous generations in relevant moments for the history of the world along with intimate moments which remain a favourite to me because looking at the images you can feel like you are part of the moment and it’s often relatable. In these two specific photographs I like the distance between the men and women but yet the closeness of them. The first photograph represents to me a very intimate moment; a couple laying in bed, he is smoking a cigarette which creates a very relaxed atmosphere and she is observing him as he does this. The warmth of the picture triggers a strong comfort in me, I feel like I get a feeling that is almost indescribable because it makes me feel so emotional. In the second photograph, there isn’t a really strong bond between the man and the woman as seen in the first one, it isn’t an intimate moment but rather a casual moment depicting ordinary life but I like it so much because I can imagine a whole story behind it as it isn’t defined what the people in the picture are doing so it triggers my imagination deeply as I am fond of the style.
Response to Sottsass
This is an image I took of my bed as i was very inspired by the images of Ettore Sottssass of different beds in different rooms. To me a bed can represent a lot of stories, moments and can say a lot about the emotional state of a person. The marks on the bed sheets remind me of something tender therefore, I want them to be emphasised in my project. As I lost tenderness and affection, it is something that I tend to miss a lot and I feel that should be expressed in my project.
'The Curious Mr. Sottsass: Photographing Desing and Desire' by Ettore Sottsass
I really look up to these images because they make feel so much.
This is important because my project is driven by my emotions; the more i feel the more i have to express, the more my project will have.
I like that they are in black and white because they make me feel nostalgic but also very tender and sweet.
I like the way they are full of marks on the sheets because it represents that there was a strong human presence.
I am very inspired by these images and I am considering the 'bed' further.
Gary Hill - typography work
I like the way the artist uses repetition for the word 'matter' but it always means something different. I like when artists use repletion because it make me feel a certain unexplainable way but it comes close to feeling uncomfortable. Most importantly, I like that the typography looks like it has been typed in a very old computer and it is black and white. The whole piece makes me think a lot about the word matter and what it means to me. I want to have this effect on people with my work, I want them to think and feel.
'Want me' by Puma blue directed by CC Wade
This music video plays a lot with lighting which played a lot with my mind. Apart from the fact that the whole song has a very intensive miserable rhythm and the lyrics relate to the loss of a lover and being unwanted by the person you love, the narrative of the video is a young man alone in his thoughts reminiscing about his relationship. I like the way the director was able to shoot the artist with dark lighting but the visuals were still clearly visible, I will research the technique and the lighting (materials) that were used to realise this.
Primary Research - experimenting with moving image
give me solitude - video by me
I took this video in a very happy moment of my life. Looking back at it makes me feel very nostalgic. I wish I could go back to than and feel the same way today however, this is impossible. For me It is important to record moments like these to than remember the way your feelings change and grow. I named this video 'give me solitude' because I was looking to find myself than but now it is what i am constantly doing.
Typography by Tom Kan
I really like the way the artist used the typography for this film because it is bold and that fits with the whole narrative of the film. I usually look up to simple and small scale typography in films however, because this film is very impactful in my pin ion, I believe that the typography should be impactful as well and that is how I see it here. I will experiment with typography however, I believe that I will go for something smaller as I want to focus on a personal intimacy. i think this title is very big therefore, it is not so intimate but that is ironic because the whole film is very intimate.
Screenshots from Loudmouth by Russo music video directed by Christo
House with a Pool EP - Russo
This is the cover of the music album that initially inspired me for this project. Apart from the very inspiring lyrics and rhythms of the songs, the cover itself is something that I also really like. I believe it captures a very intimate moment. I like the way the water does not cover all of the woman's body but rather half to if which empowers her body. The red colour of the swimming suit also and the title of the album itself also have a very empowering sense as it is quite a strong colour and matches perfectly with the skin colour and the water. I like the way the typography matches the title in a way; it seems as if it was the title of a 70s film.
Barbican Centre - primary research
Today I went to the Barbican Centre to see the exhibition of Dorothea Lange and Vanessa Kinship. Unfortunately, it was not allowed to take pictures of the work however, I was able to capture a quote from one of the works that really stayed in my mind:
a small child with a face like an angel came from a country where in legend gold was found
I like the way this phrase can be interpreted in different ways; to me it is referring to the innocence of a girl and her romantic dreams but as she has been broken, it all seems like a legend to her rather than a reality. I felt i could relate to this phrase and it also relates to the project.
Additionally there was a film about the artist/photographer Dorothea Lange herself and that also really inspired me in terms of context and visually. It was done in a similar way as mine but instead of being silent, the artist was talking about perceptions of the world and photography. I liked the typography that was used in the film and i realised that I could create a similar one. However, I liked the one that I have used in my film.
'So Much I want to Say' by Mona Hatoum, 1983
I like the title of this artwork as it is quite personal and relatable. I like the way the artist is performing what she feels and filming it. The edit of the film comes across as quite uncomfortable because of the faded black and white effect and also the things that the artist is doing in the film.
I like the title of this work because I can relate to it and I an see a strong connection between the title and the visuals of the film and it is very passionate.
'White Girl' by Elizabeth Wood, 2016 (photographs of the screen by me)
This film has had a strange impact on me. Whilst watching it, I was scared but intrigued at the same time. Being that the protagonist of the film is a young girl who just started university in a big city, such as New York and getting in the wrong circle of people, experiencing a dangerous world - the one of drugs, it was interesting but at the same time it scared me because although I do not do drugs and the character is so different from me I felt like it could be me and the world is messed up. I liked the way it was filmed as well as the soundtrack that was used. Many scenes were composed of mainly music rather than dialogues between characters and it went really well with the hyped movement. In this film too I really payed attention to the lighting that was used and it was mainly warm and sometimes coloured light such as in club scenes. It depicted a relationship which is something that I chose not to do in my film because i am focusing on the loss of the relationship.
Response to Tracy Emin's work
These are images of my sketchbooks. As I was very inspired by Tracy Emin's work I decided to respond to her work by carrying out a series of different observational drawings of myself when I was feeling different emotions related to the theme of my project. I liked the way it felt to do this; it was very liberating. The emotions i felt all related to loneliness therefore, pain is present in these drawings, it can be seen in the way I drew my eyes and the position of my body in front of the mirror.
Unfortunately, my final outcome will not consist of illustrations however, this exercise was relevant to the development of my project as it made me understand the way emotions can be recorded in different ways (drawing being one of them).
'I came Here for You' by Tracy Emin
I like this expressive piece by Tracy Emin because it makes me think about the way our minds are so powerful that they are able to overcome our bodies. When I looked at this piece, it instantly made me think about loneliness. This is because there is one single trace of a woman's body and there are large and messy bulks of acrylic paint that cover the face of the woman and some parts of her body. This made me think of myself; I sometimes get so caught up in my feelings, in my mind, that I am overwhelmed and my body feels numb. I think this is the word that most represents this piece: numbness of the body but the mind is so deeply awake. Although this is a painting, it made me inspire for my final outcome because I'd like to be able to express this certain feeling.
'Made to be Destroyed' by Chirstian Marclay, 2016
'Made to be Destroyed' by Chirstian Marclay, 2016
I really enjoyed watching this 30 minutes film at the White Cube. I believe that the idea of creating a film using other films that all share a common element is very intelligent. The artist combined scene of films that all showed art being destroyed in many different ways. To me, it was important to realise that a film does not always have to be primary but, it can also be secondary to create something primary and personal. While I was watching the film, I paid attention to the transitions that were being used and I liked the way the whole thing merged together quite naturally and the artist did not use an eccentric transition.
As my film is all going to be of my own footage, I will be doing something similar to this artist (combining different footage that all shares the same concept). That will be intimate footage of a girl in different situations which will all portray loneliness due to a break up.
'All Together Now' by Jac Leirner, 1991
This piece inspired me because the artist created a space for the audience using imagery, through graphic design. I appreciate artists creating spaces using their art because i feel that, that makes the audience more welcome and involved in the work. My aim is to do the same with my film.
White Cube Bermondsey
'Gilbert and George'film at the White Cube Bermondsey
This was a short extract from a long film by Gilbert and George. I decided to film it because it represented a very lonely moment. I felt a bitter emotion within me because I have found myself in the situation of the man before and I did not enjoy it (and still don't) as an experience.
To me, it is important to be able to depict loneliness as something that we all go through therefore, after this clip, I started thinking of scenes that everyone finds themselves in such as:
- being alone in bed, missing their long lost lover
- being in a crowd of people in the metro, feeling lost
- running away from something, feeling overwhelmed
Episode 1: William's Proof, 2017 by Elisabeth Tomlinson (b.1991, New York, USA)
When I saw this video installation I was more interested in the way the video was being displayed rather than the content of the video itself. After a while I started paying attention to the dialogue and visuals of the film and somehow, that very intimate portrayal of the boy was making me feel uncomfortable. This is because it felt like he was talking to me and was looking at me and as I have never met him, it felt strange, not in a positive way. This made me think about the way I want to portray intimacy in my film. I would want it to be a positive feeling and I want people to be able to relate. In order to do this, I won't be using very close ups of the face of my model and I will mainly focus on her back so that it can be relatable and portray the story of what everyone goes through rather than the model herself.
'Italian Holidays' by Claude Nori
Looking at these images makes me feel very nostalgic. As I am Italian, I feel like before experiencing heartbreak, I have experienced what is in these images. The person that I had a strong connection with and is now no longer part of my life is Italian as well and we had been to the beach together and shared intimate moments there were I felt something that I had never felt before. I like this spontaneous intimacy that the artist is able to capture in a very positive light. Although the images are beautiful and showcase beautiful, happy moments, I feel sad when I look at them because I do not have that anymore and that hurts. I do not want to showcase in my film as I focusing on loneliness and the individual rather than a couple but these images motivated me to work more on my art as to me it is an escape from the sadness that I feel.
Gary Hill - video based work
'The Less I know the Better' by Tame Impala Lyrics
The narrative behind the lyrics of this song, by my favourite musician Tame Impala, is talking about a love triangle. The rhythm of this song is quite joyful but the lyrics are very nostalgic and in my opinion this contrast is what makes this song so successful. I do not think that I will use this song within my outcome as, ironically it expresses too much positive energy. Although that is very important, in my outcome I'd like to be able to express nostalgia, a sense of loneliness.
Love by Gaspar Noè 2015
This film by Gaspar Noè has a very powerful impact on me since I saw it. It can be viewed as quite controversial, in terms of the story line but to me, what made me fall involve with this film were the visuals and the representation of a tender intimacy between two lovers. To a certain extent a lot of content was explicit, nudity and sex was present and strong but, all of it was base around romanticism. Love was a consistent element in the film. I watched this film in a period where I had just experienced a long term relationship in which I had experienced heartbreak to an intense emotional level therefore. not only this film struck to me because of its visuals but I guess it stayed in my mind until today because it marked a time where I felt hurt because of love which is a phase that I think everyone should go through in order to grow. I feel like the topic of love in my work is really present as I am an extremely emotional person and I love the people who I care for intensely and also anything that has to do with relationships or love to me is inspirational as I have experienced it and experience it today still. The film was so beautiful in terms of the way it was filmed; what I loved the most was the lighting and the angles the director used. He used warm lighting and close up angles and I when I take pictures I use a similar style.
Hot Spot (stand) by Mona Hatoum 2018 - White Cube Gallery
This piece was definitely one of the best artworks I had ever seen before in any gallery. I had never come across Mona Haltom's works therefore, I was happy to have the chance to see this one. She described this piece as a 'blaze'. The concept of the piece itself is very political as it is referring to the issues of the world in the economy and poverty but to me it felt more overwhelming than that. I started thinking about pain and how it can be considered as a sort of burn therefore, a blaze itself. When I was looking at it I felt very small and it is the same how I feel in general; small in a big world. The colour red reminds me of a strong sense of passion. To me this artwork makes me think of the way the world is so big, we are so small but we only long for the person responsible for making us feel such a strong pain. I also like the title of the piece: 'hotspot'. It makes me think of passionate nights with your lover, the world becomes a hotspot rather than the world itself.
I think that this piece has the potential to mean so many different things to people and I think that is beautiful because that way, the artist involves everyone in the audience and not just certain people.
I think that it would be very meaningful for me to shot some videos here.
Public private secret on photography and the configuration of the self by Charlotte Cotton - Tate Talk
Finding Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
As I was reading this book I found that this phrase really stood out to me because often I say that my art is a reflection of my experience therefore my life therefore, I found it interesting.
Loneliness - Human Nature and the need for social connection by John T. Cacioppo & William Patrick
I was interested in this book because it mentions 'the need of human connection'. I always wanted to be independent however, after you lose someone you start realising that maybe you need them but than, you may need them for the wrong reasons therefore, it is important to recognise the different. This quote made me think about this difference between being independent and needing someone.
'Apeshit (Interdlude)' by Russo lyrics
What specifically inspired me about this song was the slow, nostalgic rhythm. That is the main reason why I decided to focus on loneliness. While listening to it I started thinking about how the music video for this song would look like. Therefore, I was wondering weather I could experiment with moving image for my final outcome. I am not so comfortable with working with moving image but in my head, I have an idea of what I want it to look like therefore I know with the help of technicians i could be able to achieve what is in my imagination. I also think that if I were to experiment with moving image, being a graphic designer, I would be on the edge of the discipline, combining it to film and fine art which excites me because, I feel that I may be able to make a very expressive piece.