Part 3

Reflection

Final Poster

Updated Bibliography

24th of August

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Today I created visualisations for the final photoshoot of my final outcome. I came up with different options of how I could take the photographs both using small sketches and imagery to create more realistic imagery. I also worked the whole afternoon on my film and finished it. It was frustrating working on premiere pro as it was very slow however it served me as a very experimental creative tool. I was able to edit the film in the way that I imagined it. I was quite happy to see the result as I started as a person who had never worked moving image. As I have the whole weekend to work on the film. I will experiment the typography and colours further but I am satisfies with the result for now and I believe it is ready to be shot. 

21st of August

Today I started working on the editing of the videos that I had taken during the weekend. 

I also went to the CSM library to gather more research and inspiration.

18th of August

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Today I spent the day filming in the locations that I had decided. I filmed according to my plan and story board. Overall, I believe that I filmed quite well because I created the visuals that I wanted to achieve for the film. I spent a lot of time for each shot so that I would have all the material when it came to editing the shots together and constructing the visual narrative. I think the shots were successful and for the first time, I experienced what it was like to film thinking about a final outcome piece. It was interesting to notice how my mind was responding to what I was filming; I was filming keeping in mind, the angles, the sound, the effects I would use. 

bedroom sheets

Details

15th of August - Contextual Practice

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Today's text analysis workshop was very interesting. I liked the written piece of poetry that I brought to analyse and the way we were guided to analyse. It was helpful to understand what to look for to gather useful information within a written text. I will use this technique for further research. 

13th of August

Today I had my progress tutorial. Overall I think it was quite successful. I understood that I have to document my process on the sketchbook more. I thought it was difficult to do this as I am doing film however, I was told to create storyboards and put pictures of locations, so I did that.  As I was talking with the tutor, she gave me an idea that was taken from the photograph that I took of my bed from the top. She suggested me to film different beds and that I do not necessarily need to film in many places to create my film. This helped me a lot as in my head, I was kind of struggling of thinking of more than two places where I really wanted to film. I thought the idea of the different beds was very good therefore, I am going to be doing that with my model tomorrow. The tutor also told me that my 'make it in a day' outcome was leading towards a fashion project therefore, I understood that I have to take away the focus of the clothes of the model and focus more on the abstract visuals. Additionally, she told me I also should stay away from making a music video therefore now I am thinking of the sound that my friend will make and how my film can stay away from that and actually become an art piece. 

Make it in a day Final Outcome - 'layers'

10th of August - 'make it in a day'

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These are several screenshots from the short film I created, and some experimentation with visuals, for 'make it in a day' project. The title of the film is 'layers'. I wanted to express the process of a relationship and the heartbreak that follows when it's over. Additionally, I wanted to display loneliness as an uncomfortable feeling when there is so much pain but as a liberating feeling when the pain is gone. I used six jackets to represent layers of protection. The idea behind layering myself with jackets came from me trying to layer myself with protection, in order to stop from being hurt. However, the more layers that I would cover myself with meant that there is more pain. Only when I am naked I am free and lonely in a good way but, at the same time, I am risking the possibility of being hurt again as I am open to new experiences, such as falling in love. 

In the film I created two opposite scenarios, using the same imagery, with two different songs by Tame Impala:

The first scenario is set by the tone of the song 'Gossip' by Tame Impala, which expresses a paranoid feeling, it is fast and trippy. In the video I am not wearing any layers to represent me being free but, risking the chance of getting hurt. As I am moving my head up to communicate liberation, a fast pace video appears in a smaller scale, displaying me covering myself with so many layers. This is meant to represent a contrast between the outside and inside of a person's mind. On the outside it seems she is enjoying the experience, but on the inside, there is a strong sense of fear.

The second scenario is set by the tone of the song 'Powerlines' again by Tame Impala, which expresses an overwhelming sense of positivity. In the video I am passionately covering myself with several layers to represent me protecting myself from pain. As I am almost all covered up with layers, to the point where you can't see me anymore, a fast pace video appears in a smaller scale, displaying me getting rid of the layers and singing and dancing as I am taking the layers off. Again, this is meant to represent a contrast between the outside and inside of a person's mind. On the outside it seems that she can't enjoy the experience because she is overtaken by fear, but on the inside, there is a strong sense of wanting to set free.

Finally, the big scaled videos are in a grainy soft pink effect to express tender and rawness. I was inspired by the 'Love' by Gaspar Noè in terms of the visuals of the film. The small scaled and fast pace videos are in a very bright yellow light to express a more intense feeling of loud thoughts. 

Behind the photoshoot

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This image shows the way that I filmed the videos for the 'make it in a day' brief. I filmed myself, that is why I had to place the camera on the ground on top of a jacket, so that the angle could be right. 

9th of August

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The tutorial I had was very beneficial. 

Finding locations where to Shoot & possibly display my final outcome

Premiere pro workshop 2nd of August

8th of August

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In contextual practice I learnt to approach materials in a different perspective. It was interesting to understand how our mind can create so much information when looking at an ordinary object in detail. We are used to seeing things everyday without really thinking about their function, how they make us feel etc. therefore, today's session was helpful to get out of that mind set. 

In the afternoon I met with a friend of mine who produces music. He made me listen to of some his pieces and I thought that they really fit into the type of music what I was looking for, for my final outcome. This was techno. I like techno music because it makes me feel free and not restricted. I explained to him; I want to create a moving image installation that express loneliness and heartbreak and makes people who have been through it relate, in an underground club where the music is made to make people cope with their pain. It becomes a sort of emotional escape to them but a contrast is created between the environment , the music and the video content itself. 

He started improvising and I recorded it. I will experiment using premiere pro with some clips I have taken and the recording and see weather it fits. I will show some of my peers and have their opinion on them. I want to know weather my message is coming through the way I want it or if it is perceived in different ways. 

After meeting my friend I started exploring around Shoreditch which is known to have a lot of bars and underground small clubs. I found a particular one which selled some art and was very artistic. I plan to go shoot videos for my final outcome there. It is a dark place therefore I will need to consider the technique I will use in terms of filming. 

 

4th of August

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Today I have created the illustrations that I planned to do as part of my first doing action. They express a sense of feeling lost. I gathered images that I took over the course of time in which I documented my emotions. The images are of myself while I cry due to loneliness or pain within a relationship. 
I always found it interesting how the face of a person changes when crying. In my opinion, a person crying becomes more beautiful because they are expressing their emotion in an uncontrollable. I think controlling emotions can lead to anger and finally, I think emotions are beautiful therefore they should be shown and expressed. 
The next step for me to do is to try and capture these emotions that I have illustrated using moving image. I will be filming my 22 year old sister as she has recently been unlucky with love therefore she won’t be acting but her emotions will be expressed through the camera quite honestly. I like the idea of having a conversation with her about her pain due to love while filming her. I think if that could turn out to be a good video experimentation. 

 

3rd of August

 Today I worked on my proposal in order to be able to hand in the final draft. I had to cut out a lot of my sentences in order to meet the word count. I found it very difficult to do that because I wanted to explain my project concept as best as I could. However, after reading the cut and edited version of my project concept, I realised it was easier to understand my project in its simplicity. 

 
The hardest part of writing the proposal to me was planning for each week of the project. This is because,  usually I tend to work quite spontaneously, not always planning every little move I am going to do because it tends to change especially if I do not like what I am creating. As I had never created a moving image outcome before, I was quite scared that, in the middle of the project, I might have changed my mind about it and create a different outcome. However, after the workshop and my experimentation, I felt quite confident that I have the potential to create what is in my mind. The next step for my project to move on is doing my ‘first doing action’. 
 
This is visualising certain emotions, using illustration, that I’d like to be present in my final outcome. After the illustration I will start creating collages out of chosen music videos in order to have a visual idea of what I may be interested in filming. Most importantly, I will experiment using premiere pro, by creating a short clips which capture the essence of my drawn emotions using lighting and effects.

Final Location and Audience Image

Details

Final Outcome - 'when it burns it means it's working'

Poetry written by Jayunclad

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These are the lines of poetry that my friend who collaborated with me wrote for the film after i gave him a description of:

  • what my project was
  • the way I was feeling
  • what was shown in my film
  • what i wanted the audience to perceive

Overall, I really liked the things he wrote because it was exactly the way I felt and all of them fit well with the visuals of the film. During the editing of the typography of the film, I also inserted two lines that I wrote myself but inspired by his narrative which was personal to me. I really enjoyed including poetry in my work. I believe it was a success and it communicates the concept in a more powerful way. Additionally, I believe the audience i am targeting can also relate more by reading the lines in the film. 

26th of August

0.jpegToday I went to the Barbican Centre to see the exhibition of Dorothea Lange and Vanessa Kinship. Unfortunately, it was not allowed to take pictures of the work however, I was able to capture a quote from one of the works that really stayed in my mind: 

a small child with a face like an angel came from a country where in legend gold was found

I like the way this phrase can be interpreted in different ways; to me it is referring to the innocence of a girl and her romantic dreams but as she has been broken, it all seems like a legend to her rather than a reality. I felt i could relate to this phrase and it also relates to the project. 

Additionally there was a film about the artist/photographer Dorothea Lange herself and that also really inspired me in terms of context and visually. It was done in a similar way as mine but instead of being silent, the artist was talking about perceptions of the world and photography. I liked the typography that was used in the film and i realised that I could create a similar one. However, I liked the one that I have used in my film. 

22nd of August

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Today was a very helpful day. 

First off, I got feedback for my interim poster. I understood what I need to do next in order to improve my poster. I will try using different grid systems using my imagery and changing the scale of the references. 

Secondly, the hats workshop was super helpful because it made me see my project in different perspectives and I realised what were my worries that I had not thought about before. As in the end of the workshop, after thinking in different perspective, we were told to create a new action plan, I now know how I will approach my project in a practical way, considering the audience more and the time that I have left.

Thirdly, the scamper workshop was the most successful out of all. I thought it was really interesting to be able to visualise my project subsisting, replacing, doubling, distorting etc. the content. I am now considering filming only one person dancing to club music in front of the film rather than recreating a club scene. I thought about doings this because as I am working with loneliness, the message might be able to get through in a stronger way. Although I have made my decision, I will try filming both options; recreating a club scene with more people dancing as well as only one person dancing in a more personal space but with club music and lighting. 

 

19th of August

unnamed-7.pngToday I have been looking at the videos I shot yesterday. I selected the best ones and took screenshots that best captured what I am trying to communicate so that I could include them in my sketchbook. Overall, I really liked the way the videos turned out and I believe that edited all together, I could be able to create a strong visual narrative. However, I am be lacking some shots that depict heartbreak therefore, during the next two days, I will try to find the perfect location to shoot one more scene for the film.

Intimacy

Details

17th of August

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Today's tutorial was useful for me as the tutor suggested more artist references for my research file.  Additionally, she suggested the method I should use to carry out the final outcome photoshoot. As I want to re - create a club I was struggling with the way I was going to do that therefore, she helped me. 

11th of August

Today I went to three galleries; Bermondsey Project Space, White Cube Bermondsey and WhiteChapel gallery. 

It was very interesting to see that in each gallery there was a work or piece that was very relevant to my project. The one that influenced my thinking and inspired me the most was the two of Tracy Emin's pieces and a film entitled 'made to be destroyed'. 

During the night, I was able to go look for a location where I could get some footage. I went to an underground gay club and took videos and audio recordings. The music was the one I was looking for therefore, I thought it would suit my project. Additionally, although I was surrounded by people and friends, I felt extremely alone. The feeling was overwhelming therefore I started writing down some possible quotes for the film and recorded myself going from the outside of the club to the inside; to represent how I was looking for an escape from my loneliness and pain, in that certain environment, with that specific type of music. 

Anonymus Interview

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Based on the tutorial I had and the feedback I received, I conducted an annoys interview within my class. Within my class the gender, sexuality and age varies but it all remains within the youth group which is what I am aiming for. The answers of my peers were interesting but I was hoping for more personal revelations in order for me to be more inspired. The answer that I got most inspired by was:

' I've been waiting, and I was told to wait. But, I loathe patience, and that's why I'm not longing for you.' 

This was very inspiring to me because it clearly refers to feeling a sense of solitude due to having no one by your side, no one to share your love, life with. As this is the main theme of my project, this phrase will definitely be incorporated in the final outcome. I need to think about typography. I need to experience with the range of typography and the way it works with moving image and the content of my project. 

Testing different Sounds (collaboration with Isa)

Model Casting

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6th of August

Today I took more videos that I thought would work visually with the previous videos I had taken. Taken in account the interview with my sister and the videos I had taken, I decided to focus on my loneliness to mix with hers. I thought that would work out well as the project is something that allows me to express and explore my loneliness while exploring others. As during the weekend I flew back to my home country, I was heading back and in that moment, during the taxi ride to the airport, I did not feel lonely but fulfilled, I felt a sense of hope although I could not really understand what it really was. The view from the car window was beautiful, i decided to capture the moment. It was a romantic scene s there was a sunset but I did not want it to look clichè, so I focused on the movement of the people passing fast by my window. It made me think about how many people there are in this world and we suffer for so long, for so little motives, for only one person. 

Premiere pro workshop 2nd of August

Notes taken during Tate talk by Charlotte Cotton

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5th of August

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Today I started filming short clips in order to have material to work with and play with on premiere. Before filming, I interviewed my model which was my sister so that I could be inspired by the way she felt, by her answers and try to display what she was feeling within the videos. It was all filmed in the water. To me water presents a contrast between liberation and restriction: when you are under water you cannot breathe therefore you are restricted but at the same time you feel free when you are swimming, to me it is as if you are flying in a place with no gravity. I decided to film her in water because her answers presented quite a strong conflicting. As I asked her weather she felt lonely she instantly started talking about love and her relationship. She stated 'I know he cares but at the same time I don't'

Reflecting about 'Nikes' music video directed by Tyrone Lebon

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Music

As we were given the task, to carry out over the weekend, to present three possible themes, I started to work on my sketchbook. My main inspiration came from the songs I was listening to during that weekend. I felt a sense of loneliness that I had never felt quite so strongly before. I did not understand why so I started asking myself why. The lyrics of the songs I think were the reason why I started questioning my loneliness so much and I felt very connected to them so I started writing down the lyrics of the songs that stood out the most to me and putting them on my sketchbook.

The songs that had the most impact on me were:

  1. apeshit (Interlude) - Russo

  2. Loudmouth - Russo

  3. Joyride - Russo

  4. Lonely - Russo 

  5. Lost & Found - Jorja Smith

  6. Love/Paranoia - Tame Impala

 

Unit 7 - Gathering inspiration

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Final Evaluation

Contextual Practice - Self Assessment

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During the completion of the self assessment sheet, I realized that I was not lacking in any of the categories. Despite this, I felt that in none of them I could get a distinction and that is because I felt that I had not done enough. 

My overall grade was a pass which to me was expected but, for my final grade I am hoping that by doing more work, I will be able to get a merit or even a distinction. 

I feel that I did particularly well in the category of planning my outcome; it is something I have not stopped doing since the beggining of the project and it is present within my reflections through imagery, evaluations and time plans, through my research file through evaluations and my sketchbook through visualisations and sketches. In order for me to get a better grade I believe I should focus on using evaluation to make decisions. I believe that this is a very important process that I have not made use of so much as I was focusing on the actual development of the project itself. In order for me to focus more on that I am going to be considering it every time I am going to reflect. 

A song by Russo and what it means to be

 What specifically inspired me about this song was the slow, nostalgic rhythm. That is the main reason why I decided to focus on loneliness. While listening to it I started thinking about how the music video for this song would look like. Therefore, I was wondering weather I could experiment with moving image for my final outcome. I am not so comfortable with working with moving image but in my head, I have an idea of what I want it to look like therefore I know with the help of technicians i could be able to achieve what is in my imagination. I also think that if I were to experiment with moving image, being a graphic designer, I would be on the edge of the discipline, combining it to film and fine art which excites me. 

28th of August

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Today was the day of the final outcome photoshoot. 

I was quite scared because my plan was to project my film and recreate a club scene however I had no time to test this out during the weekend. Fortunately, my photoshoot was at 2 therefore i had the whole morning to test and it was successful. I tested out using different scaled of the film and using one person and a group of people. 

What worked best for me was the images with the people, they expressed the message quite well and looked visually appealing too. However, I liked the images using only one individual therefore i might use them for something. The next step is to chose the final images and do some editing in order for them to be presented at the final exhibition. While the photographer was shooting, I took process photos but also shot using my camera. I took a short clip. I plan to use it and edit it with the sound that my musician friend created for the film. 

23rd of August

Today I helped out many of the fashion communication students whom had their final photoshoots. As I had to model for many of them I did not get a lot of time to work on my own project. However, while some of the photoshoots were being carried out I was gathering inspiration for my own photoshoot. I liked the way that one of the students was using the backdrop for his photos. I might experiment with projecting my film onto a background but I am not certain.

20th of August

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Today I had a group tutorial. Overall the feedback that I received was positive. I was glad to hear that my message was coming through by looking at my research file and sketchbook. Additionally, I understood that when it comes to editing my film, I will need to pay attention to every detail; the colours, the speed, the duration etc. 

Interim Poster

14th of August

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Today it was the first day of filming for my final outcome. I focused on the shots in bed. 

12th of August

I am experimenting with the audio that I took last night as I was searching for an underground club with the right music I was looking for. I like the audio I recorded because it expresses a moment. I took it and I actually did feel very lonely. 

Additionally, today I responded to Tracy Emin's work which influenced me a lot. 

First doing action Final Outcome - 'all that is said contains a but'

7th of August

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These are screenshots from a short film experimentation that I did using premiere and the videos I took during the weekend in order to carry out my first doing action. I really enjoyed the process of making the short film because the videos i took reminded me of the beautiful place that I was during the weekend, it reminded me of happiness but it made me feel very nostalgic as well. 

 I also went to the CSM library and responded to some of the images that I found interesting. I was looking for film makers and artists that worked with the theme of heartbreak, loneliness. I was mainly looking for location inspirations for mr to shoot the film. 

2nd of August

 Today I finally learnt the skills in order to use premiere pro. I found the workshop extremely easy to follow despite the complexity of the program itself. David guided us to find videos in an archive that was very interesting and I chose two videos that related to my project. The result was an experimentation using the things we had just learnt from the workshop and I was quite happy with the work that I had produced.

  • first video experimentation: two videos entitled 'blonde' & 'brunette' taken from the archive and combined together, overlapping on each other. My intention with these two videos was to experiment therefore, I was not focusing on the context or the concept. However, I chose the specific imagery because it represented two women slowly taking their clothes off and I found it really empowering, especially because the videos were taken during the 1960s. 
  • second video experimentation 'July is over': one video entitled 'Las Vegas kiss' taken from the archive and two of my videos that I took of the sea shore, experimentation with music, frame, typography. In this video experimentation I wanted to express how in a relationship everything happens naturally, like the flow of a sea that increases, decreases and eventually disappears.I found it interesting to receive feedback from my peers because they perceived the video as a celebration of love and saw it as romantic however, I wanted to express the loss of love, the loss of a person and a relationship therefore to me it was very sad, especially to watch because it is what I am going through. 
  • third video experimentation 'intro to my concept 'when it burns it means it's working'': one video of my lost lover lips, experimentation with cropping a video, slowing the speed of a video, creating effects to communicate flashbacks, typography and sound that matches my concept. In this video I wanted to express the whole of a relationship that is made of slow kisses but it hurts once you lose them: you lose them like smoke coming out of your mouth when you are smoking a cigarette. The music that I used was the first part of 'Want me' by Puma Blue which is one of my project's references as it is a song about the loss of a lover and loneliness. I used a black dissolve effect to represent the flashbacks you have when you lose the person you loved. My peers responded that to them it looked like you were so close to the lips of the individual, it seemed as the black dissolve effect represented eyes blinking as if the viewer was right in front of the person in the film. 

As it was my first experimenting with film I learnt that there are certain factors that need to be considered with detail in order to be able to get your message across the way you want it; colour, composition, sound, what is written. 

 

Proposal

Working on the Proposal

I have been working on the proposal and this is what I plan to include in it:

I want to explore loneliness as a general concept, in particular what young women go through during and after heartbreak.  

 
I plan to work with spontaneous visuals and moving image, to create a disrupted narrative. I want to communicate several stories at once, that is both personal to me and universal. I’d like to make an outcome that makes sense emotionally, to others and to myself, but not logically when you initially look at it, due to the intensive visual input that's displayed. I want people to be able to think, relate to and understand something about themselves and their loneliness.
 
My inspiration comes from the rhythm and lyrics of music that connect to me on an emotional level, and I hope to visually and emotionally connect it to others as well. 
 
To me loneliness is something that everyone experiences at certain points in their lives, therefore, I feel that it is important to be able to go through it but also understand why we feel lonely and where it really comes from. 

Premiere pro workshop 2nd of August

Where my inspirations come from

To me, it is a challenge to be able to start a whole project, with a duration of 7 weeks, from nothing. It is quite ironic how freedom, in this case is restrictive. I find it to be restrictive because, there are so many ideas in my head that I cannot possibly narrow them down into one and think about a simple project that would be successful in terms of its outcome and the reaction of the public.
Because of this, I know that the unit 7 project is going to require me to do a lot of research in order to really understand what I really want to communicate and how I will be able to communicate it successfully. I have a lot of messages that I'd like to say to the public but I cannot find one that is extremely important or original in a way. I decided that I would let my sources of inspiration flow naturally or, I would not think so much about a concept but I would just let it come out by itself because usually, I think that I work better when I do things spontaneously rather than forcing it or thinking too much about them.

2nd of August

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I found doing this diagram extremely useful. As we were instructed to write in each category within five minutes, it made my thoughts in my head clear and straight forward. I did not struggle in any category apart form the audience context. I knew that I wanted my audience to be the youth group however, I did not know where my final outcome was going to be displayed in order for it to have the most impact. I than came up with the idea of a night club, as I started about ways that people cope with the pain that is caused by loneliness and relationship break ups. I started thinking about the music that people listen to when they feel so much pain therefore, it provided me with a lot of motive action and inspiration for this project.  

31st of July

In the morning, I worked in the computer room because I had to print certain images. I worked on the sketchbook later in the morning in order to visualise the imagery I had gathered so that, during the afternoon I could go to the library and do further research. 

As I had a clear sense of what I was going to research at the library (i.e. expressing loneliness and heartbreak through music and visuals), I was able to find a lot of relevant resources. The book that gave me most inspiration was one entitled 'I love you, Stupid!' by the artist Dash Snow